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Lately the hubs and I have been watching Love in the Wild.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s one of those reality shows kind of like Survivor, only they are teamed up as couples.  They are supposed to find out of they have feelings for each other and if they make  a good team, and if they don’t they can trade (sounds a bit like dating to me, lol).  If you’d ask us, we’d tell you that these people are all just in it for the money that they can possibly win at the end.  There are all kinds of adventures they have to conquer, so that at the end of each show they might get to stay for another round rather than going home. 

I think it’s fair to say that at that there are days when I feel like I’ve conquered the world, and there are other days when I feel like I’m getting sent home with some really bad sunburn and my head hanging down.  So is life like a reality TV show?  No, not really.  But there is one way that I think that the reality show is like real life – after what seems like failure, you don’t know what’s happening next.  How often do those shows follow-up to see what happened to the person after they have been defeated?  Not often.  Today I feel defeated – and I don’t know what’s next.  Hey, I’m honest.  I’ve been bumbling through the “jungle” (with my love) trying to find my way.  So maybe my life is a little bit like TV.  What’s next for me?  Where is my career path leading me?  Where does God want me?  And the most famous question I find myself asking in the quiet of my mind each day – WHAT NOW? 

I know that God is faithful and has a GREAT plan for me.  I can tell you that right now I’m in the school of patience – and I’m hoping that I’m getting close to graduating to the next level.  I’m reminded of the words of Hebrews 13:5 – “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” I love that… it gives me so much hope.

Last Friday I had the great joy of spending the day at the river with my parents.  We had a great time together, and my dad and I took about a 2.5 hour kayaking trip down the river.  One of my favorite things to do in the water (other than splashing it at my dad and nearly toppling the kayak over) is looking down into the river as I travel along.  In some spots, I could see the bottom perfectly clear.  I could see all of the shells and rocks and the lay of the riverbed.  At other times, while I could still make out the figures beneath me, the water was murky and I couldn’t see in as clear.   Then in spots where the river was deepest, I couldn’t see the bottom at all because as it gets deeper, it gets much darker to look in to.  I still knew it was there and could imagine how it looked, but I just couldn’t see it.  It think that is how my future and the next part of my journey is to me right now.  I’m floating over one of the deeper parts of the river.  I’m paddling and hoping to get to a place where I can see down in. 

Last Friday, even when we were traveling over the deepest parts, the kayak kept me floating and moving forward – in the same way God keeps me going and moving on.  Everything is going to be great… it really is.  As the saying goes, I just need to “Keep Calm, and Carry On.”

~Keep on Smiling~

-JB

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